Thursday, June 29, 2006

My First post ever

Ok That's it. I am writing my first post ever.
Ironically I help build and design some the software infrastructure and middleware that power many of the web applications such this blog site but never had my own personal site or blog.
Anyway, I am doing this because I suddenly felt that this could be a way to express myself freely on any subject or any thoughts I may have.

I am one of these workaholic persons who spent the last 18 years pursuing a dream of being better at what I do (software) and find myself now in my late thirties successfully installed in the software Mecca a.k.a silicon valley (san Francisco bay area, California) with 3 startups behind me, 2 of which were sold to well known companies. What a long journey since my ENIT and ENSI days. It never stopped; it was a suite of professional challenges one after the other from Tunis to the bay area with a stop in Paris, France. I did not have a life outside of work beside the 2 to 3 weeks a year spent in Tunis with my family, and even there I am rarely away from my computer, trying to beat the time fixing a bug or thinking of the next feature that will keep us on the bleeding edge in what we do.

And suddenly it came to me.
-What now? What next? I‘ve seen it all and done it all. Enough is enough! I’ve been engineer, technical lead, startup founder, inventor, patent holder, manager, director. Isn’t that enough! Aren’t you satisfied? You got what you want, whether it is money or achievements! Go get a life man.
-Oh ok but I don’t have any friends, I mean real friends and confidents. I just have a drawer full of business cards and a full directory on my cell phone. It’s been a long time since I had lost contact with my childhood friends. I left Tunis at 22 and I am 39 now.
-Just make new friends. Work only 8 hours a day. Spend time with your family!!!

Yes my family .I was lucky to marry very young and to an understanding wife who supported all my moves even when I got this job offer in the US 12 years ago, with a 4 years boy already in school in France and a 3 month boy. I told her “I need to get this job!” preparing myself for a long argument, she just said “When do we move?” . Unbelievable isn’t it?

I don’t feel my age at all. In fact I feel in my mid 20’s and beside my gray hair, I really look younger. I don’t really have remorse; I just want to have a life, friends, fun. I want to visit a lot of places. You know, I traveled to more than 50 countries but never visited. It was always from the airport to the hotel, work late until finishing the presentation or the demo, get some sleep, wake up to go to the meeting location, do your stuff and back to hotel to prepare the next meeting or back to the airport to catch the last plane. It did not matter to me whether it was Geneva or Sydney, Tokyo or Dubai. Can you believe this???

Perhaps it is my middle life crisis but I hope I can start getting a life now and I consider blogging about it as first positive step towards it.
Ok, it is out of my chest now. I am sorry, I was really writing what I was thinking as if I was talking to myself. I know it is boring.